Technobabble

I began to entertain an interesting (to me) line of thought about work.
I wonder what it would be like to be an end user. How would it be if I could not, and did not have to, support my use of a PC from day to day….

Imagine my first day of work….

Ah, here I am! My first day as on the sales team at MegaBloat Software!
It’s an exciting time to be in the technology business, I tell ya. It’s all cutting edge and high tech. The world is changing and I’m right there on the fore-front!

Check it out, my computer awaits. Let’s fire this bad boy up and see what she can do.

*click*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. The light is on and it’s green but nothing is showing up on the screen. Oops! It just changed to yellow….now it’s flashing. Darn the luck, they gave me a dud.

*rummaging through orientation packet*

Well, let’s give the Helpdesk a call. It’ll be a good chance to introduce myself. We tech-types need to stick together.

*ring*

Hello? Helpdesk? Hi, I’m Bob, the new sales guy. Yea, I started today and the computer you guys provided won’t boot….Yes, it’s plugged in, I’m not an idiot. *chuckle* You’re sending someone down? Cool. Thanks.

*technician arrives and pushes the power button and the computer springs to life*

Oh! You have to turn it on down there. I thought the power switch was here on the TV thingy. I feel so stupid. I am actually quite computer literate. Sorry to waste your time….

*technician leaves*

Well, THAT was embarrassing.

Ok, now to check out this puppy and get to work. A login screen. How do I login? Nobody told me what my login ID is. I’m sure it’s just an oversight. Better call the Helpdesk.

*ring*

Hello? Helpdesk? Yea. this is Bob. I can’t seem to log into my computer. I don’t have a login ID or password. What’s that? You say it’s in my orientation packet? Oh! That! I thought that was my e-mail information….It is? I use it for both? Uh….ok! I got it! Thanks! Bye!

How strange, my XP machine at home doesn’t make me log in at all. Those IT guys will need to fix this. I’ll get with them later. I am sure they will want to make things more efficient for me so I can sell, sell, SELL!

Ok, let’s have a look at the corporate intranet. Where’s the icon for the Internet? Good lord! Can’t their IT department do anything right?

*ring*

Hello? Yea, this is Bob again. My computer doesn’t seem to have the Internet…
What do I mean by that? I mean there’s no Internet thingy on my screen to click and open the Internet.

What’s that? Yes, there’s an icon that looks like a big E. Ok, I’m double-clicking it. There it is! Cool, thanks. Bye!

Strange, my computer at home the icon is very clearly marked A-O-L. These guys are really not that technical.

Now it’s time to check out the tools I will use to do my job. I should look at Excel….hmmmmm
No Excel

*ring*

Yea, this is Bob. How am I supposed to do my job without Excel installed on my computer? Can you send someone to my desk to get this resolved? I also need to get rid of the login screen. What’s that? Hold on….yea, Start, Programs…ok, I see one for Excel. I have to get to it this way? On my home computer there’s a icon doo-dad on my desktop. Never mind, I’ll just use it like this. I gotta run, it’s lunch time. Bye.

*co-worker comes to desk and asks how the day has been so far*

For a technology company, your IT department doesn’t seem to have it’s act together. I guess I’ll have to show them a few things. Where you wanna eat?

Yea, that would be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!