Cynthia – Page 16 – The Bald Heretic – Short, bald dude with a goofy beard

William

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When Cynthia and I took our European vacation in 2005 we decided to take William the Sheep and take pictures of him in front of various sites we visited.

In fact, he has his own subject tag here at baldheretic.com as well as his own photo gallery.

We have every intention of taking him on our next vacation for more photo opportunities.

As I was vanity searching on the web I found an interesting site. It’s an online Russian real estate magazine. One particular issue happens to jump out at me…

That’s William in the hotel bed in Paris.

I know I am usually pissed off when I see someone hot-linking or stealing one of my images…
But this is kind of cool.

You can see the original at www.sob.ru/issue242.html

Tanksgiving

Every Thanksgiving at our house over the last few years has been a rather relaxed affair.
Cynthia cooks up a very traditional meal, usually a Turkey and all the trimmings and we invite a few friends over to join us for dinner, drinks and conversation.

This year we invited Owen Finn over for dinner. Owen is a recent transplant to Houston from Galway Ireland. He transferred here to our Houston office to take a position that had opened up managing our customer facing services. Services like external tech support for our software and our maintenance renewals.

I had recently gone out drinking with Owen and another co-worker who was visiting from the Galway office. I did my best to keep up with two drunk Irishmen but was completely outmatched.

The evening was extemely fun and as I related it to Cynthia she suggested we invite Owen over so we could treat him to his first Thanksgiving. Owen’s here in advance of his family who will be moving here in January so it was a good bet he would have been on his own that day.

Owen is incredibly funny and a great story teller. He’s got this thick Irish accent and when he says words that begin with TH he just pronounces them with a hard T sound. Thursday becomes Turrrsday and Thanksgiving become Tanksgiving.

We arranged for him to come over at tree minutes to tree on Turrsday for Tanksgiving.

It was a great time. Jim Henkel joined us later on and we sat around drinking coffee and telling jokes and stories.

At one point Cynthia broke out the Book Of Lists which is a compendium of interesting facts and began quizzing us.

One of the questions she asked was “What are the seven stages of drunkenness.”

None of us really knew the seven stages. Well, we knew from experience, but not formally.

Turns out they are:

Verbose
Grandiose
Amicose
Bellicose
Morose
Stuporous
Comatose

After Owen and Jim had left Cynthia and I got to talking and she decided that what Owen needed was the list of the seven stages of drunkenness. And not just a writren list, oh no.
She would immortalize them in cross stitch.

She got some graph paper and drew it out and then dug up her cross stiching supplies and turned this out:

Click image for full size

I’m giving it to him tomorrow.

Coffee

New(ish) shirt

This is one of my favorite custom shirts out of the Cynthia collection.

When we found the fabric we both agreed that it reminded us of The Scream by Edvard Munch.

This shirt has been named “Screamy.”

Detail shot of the shirt pocket:

It’s the most wonderful day of the week

It’s Tuesday night and that can only mean one thing….

IT’S PORK CHOP NIGHT!

I am such a simple creature…

Beware the wrath of Cynthia

As you can tell from previous writings, when Cynthia decides to prank someone it can be quite an event. Now imagine if you actually antagonized her.

Case in point:

Just about every Sunday, our good friend Jim comes over to the house. Cynthia cooks a nice meal and we watch the Simpsons and have a nice conversation. After that, Cynthia and Jim retire to the dining room to play dominoes. It’s a two out of three competition and the winner is dubbed the “Domino Queen” for the week. The loser is, in essence, the domino peasant.

The last time Jim was here he won the domino game and went home with the title. As of right now, Jim is the reigning “Domino Queen.”

For the last several weeks Jim has been unable to come over due to various band gigs and other commitments. At one point I was talking to Jim and expressing Cynthia’s anxiousness to have a shot and winning back the title. Jim responded as the Domino Monarch and indicated that Cynthia, as the domino peasant, would have to be content with “grubbing for potatoes” for another week.

When I relayed this back to Cynthia she was indignant and then and there decided that she would place a potato curse on Jim.

The first strike was a potato voodoo doll made from a real potato that she delivered to Jim with the curse. The second strike is tonight.

Jim’s coming over for dinner here shortly. Cynthia has prepared the following menu:

Potato chips with potato dip
Potato salad
Potato bread
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Pot roast with potatoes
Veggies with bits of potato mixed in

And for desert?

Home made sweet potato cake.

That’s a lot of “potato grubbin”…It’s going to be a starchy evening.

Pestis intel

I just managed to sneak this shot out of Cynthia’s “virus lab.”

It looks like Dan’s not out of the woods yet.

Pestis

Cynthia has decided to torment the C.T.O. (chief technology officer) at her place of employment. A gentleman by the name of Dan Digregorio.

For whatever reason, Cynthia decided that he needed a challenge so she decided to fashion 30 or so “viruses” out of some very basic components including a small pom-pom, some googly eyes, felt feet and twist ties and place them in his office at work before he came in.

She even named the virus Digregorious Pestis.

When Dan came to work and found his office “infected” with Digregorious Pestis he immediately suspected Cynthia and called her to confront her. She explained that she had no access to the I.T. floor as it was restricted and played innocent. Apparently he tried to gather all the viruse up but continued to find them throughout the day.

Cynthia never admitted to the prank.

Fast forward a few days.

Cynthia fashioned another couple of dozen viruses and again snuck into Dan’s office (a co-worker/co-conspirator gave her access to the restricted floor) and placed them all around. She noticed while she was there that he had all the previous viruses on a shelf but was missing a few which would indicate he had not found them all.

This time she placed a few on his desk and set about to hide the rest and included a poem she had written to accompany them which read:

I am just a little virus,
Often underestimated.
Even though I am quite small
I am often feared and hated.
When you think that I am gone
I am NOT eradicated!
I am busy multiplying
and MORE virus is created!

Signed,
Digregorius Pestis

There has been no response from Dan to the latest infestation. I can only assume he is plotting revenge.