Angels we have heard on high, inflate to the proper P-S-I

It started, innocently enough, with a lawn ornament in front of our neighbor’s house.

We have named it the “Farting Bear” for obvious reasons.

This bear has fueled an ongoing discussion between Cynthia and myself about the nature of Xmas decorations in the south. We both agree that, while this is a winter holiday, it’s not so much of a winter wonderland here in the south. Take today for example. The temps are right at 80 degrees for our high and no cold weather in the forecast for at least a few more days and even that probably won’t stick around.

The idea of trying to decorate in a winter theme down here in Texas just seems ludicrous. If anything, we should be developing our own southern style of decorating that incorporates things more suited to our climate. Maybe a surfboarding fat man who rides gnarly waves and delivers presents to all the good boys and girls. He could leave them under the jalapeno tree or mesquite tree something.

The “Farting Bear” is a prime example of what we find lacking in climate appropriate decorations here in the south. Look at him, for crying out loud. He’s wearing a sweater! I took that picture in my short sleeves and retreated back to my living room where I have the AC on and cooling the house.

But let’s put that aside for now. Obviously the winter theme is not going anywhere anytime soon.

The “Farting Bear” is not just preposterous for it’s winter theme, oh no, it’s a part of a bigger problem that has been in evidence this season. The problem of the inflatable lawn ornament.

I knew they were popular this year. They seem to be all over the place. It was when we saw the inflatable nativity scene that we knew that the problem was bigger than we could imagine

Cynthia and I decided to drive around the neighborhood and see how many we could find within a few miles of the house. All in all we found 32 unique inflatable lawn ornaments.

That’s not counting the dozen or so that were not inflated and lay lifeless on the lawn. Apparently they can be turned off and when they are turned off they deflate.

What we saw ranged from snowmen

to snow globes

From Santas

to Snoopies

You can see all we found in the Inflatable Lawn Ornament Gallery.

If you have any pictures of inflatable lawn ornaments please send them to me for inclusion in this gallery.

Tall blondes

It is no secret that Cynthia’s absolute favorite creature on the entire planet is the giraffe.

The first time I ever visited Cynthia’s apartment when we were first dating it was hard to miss the life-size giraffe sculpture in the living room, a sculpture Cynthia had made from scratch using dowels, chicken wire, paper mache and finished in polymers and which, to this day, dominates our dining room.

For Cynthia’s birthday this year I arranged a behind the scenes tour of the Houston Zoo’s giraffe exhibit. Our tour was this past Saturday and it was a blast!

It was a chance to get up close and personal with these magnificent creatures


Cynthia gets a nuzzle from Kiva


Cynthia joins the herd


Nigel likes the carrots

It was incredible being so close to these animals.
Cynthia claims it was the best birthday present EVER!

So now I guess I have my work cut out for me for next year….

You can see many more pictures from the encounter here.

Say I’m the only bee in your bonnet

For the last several months Cynthia has been working on a quilt as a Christmas present for her mother. It was originally going to be a green and white traditional birdhouse style quilt.

Before Cynthia got started on it we went to the Gee’s Bend show and it inspired her to do something a little less conventional.

Cynthia decided to design her own non-traditional pattern and ended with this spectacular original creation:

Quilt
click image for larger view

The pieces are all machine sewn together, but all of the quilting is meticulously and painstakingly done by hand. All in all it took Cynthia about 4 1/2 months to complete this project.

We shipped it last week and Cynthia’s mother received it on Friday.
She was very excited and says she loves it!

Hello, Hola, Bonjour, Willkommen!

Awhile back I was utilizing a nifty plugin that would translate my blog into German, Spanish, French, Italian, Korean, Chinese and Portuguese. Sadly, the plugin stopped working when the creater of the code released his fully functional and quite commercial version called Angsuman’s Translator Plugin Pro.

This meant that if I wanted to use the plugin I would have to buy it.

After much hemming and hawing I finally broke down and bought the plugin and have now re-installed it.

If you look in the right hand sidebar of baldheretic.com you will see a series of flags. Just click on the flag to see this site in the corresponding language.

The plugin utilizes Google Translate to reformat the blog and it’s pretty slick.

I’m now watching as the search engine spiders re-crawl my web site in order to index it in the various languages.

You can already find references in some search engines to “El Heretic Calvo”….

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